The Ladder is Broken: Why I'm Growing Like a Vine Instead

We are taught to climb. From the moment we enter school, the trajectory is vertical. Grade levels, job titles, salary brackets—we are conditioned to believe that growth only counts if it moves upward. We are handed a ladder at graduation and told that if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other, we'll reach the top.

But what happens when you're built to spread outward instead?

For years, I treated my career like a ladder I was failing to climb. I moved from culinary arts to sales, from business to software engineering. To the outside observer, it looked like instability. To me, it felt like suffocation. I was constantly looking up, measuring my worth by how many rungs I'd conquered, while ignoring the way my roots were trying to spread.

I was trying to force a vine to grow like a beanstalk. And like any plant forced into the wrong shape, I was withering.

The Ecology of Experience

On my About page, I describe my path as a wild vine. It twists, turns, and occasionally tangles. But here is the secret I've learned since rooting myself in technology: those tangles weren't mistakes. They were nutrients.

When I finally stopped trying to prune away my past to fit a "standard" career profile, I realized those detours were actually my ecosystem.

My time in kitchens taught me resilience under pressure. When the ticket machine starts screaming and the stove is blazing, you don't panic—you prioritize. That same calmness helps me when a production server goes down.
My years in sales taught me how to communicate complex ideas. Code doesn't exist in a vacuum; it solves human problems. Being able to translate technical constraints to non-technical stakeholders is a skill I didn't learn in a bootcamp; I learned it by talking to clients.

Now, as a software engineer, I don't just write code; I understand the human ecosystem the code lives in. If I had stayed in a single lane, I would be narrower. Instead, I am broader. My career isn't a straight line; it's a trellis built from diverse experiences.

Reframing Restlessness

For my fellow non-linear thinkers—especially those navigating neurodivergence like ADHD or AuDHD—this restlessness often feels like a defect.

We look at peers who have stayed at one company for a decade and wonder what is wrong with us. We feel the itch to move, to learn, to pivot, and we interpret it as ingratitude or lack of discipline. We try to medicate the curiosity out of ourselves so we can fit the mold.

Nothing is wrong. You are just gardening, not climbing.

A garden doesn't grow in a straight line. It responds to the light. It shifts with the seasons. Sometimes the soil is poor, and you must move to find better nutrients. Sometimes the weather is harsh, and you must hunker down and protect your energy. This isn't failure; it's adaptation.

When I was diagnosed with ADHD/AuDHD, it wasn't a label of limitation; it was an explanation of my ecology. My brain isn't broken; it's just wired to seek new light sources. Recognizing this allowed me to stop fighting my own nature and start working with it.

Invitation to Grow

This blog, Growing Me, is not about finding the perfect straight path. It's about learning to tend to your own unique ecosystem.

I created this space because I was tired of reading career advice that assumed everyone starts at the bottom of the same ladder. I write for the pivoters, the neurodivergent minds, the women in STEM who feel like imposters, and anyone who realizes the mold they were given doesn't quite fit.

Whether you are pivoting into tech, managing a neurodivergent mind in a neurotypical world, or simply trying to find where you belong, I invite you to stop looking up at the ladder.

Look around at your own vine. Where is it reaching for light? That's where you need to grow.

Let's Get to Work

Growth is rarely a straight line, and neither is belonging. Sometimes the soil is poor, and sometimes you realize you were planted in the wrong pot entirely. But if you are willing to put down roots and grow, you will find your place.

Don't shrink to fit the room. Let your growth expand the room. You belong here.

Now, let's get to work.

🌱 Over to You: Where has your career vine taken you unexpectedly? Have you ever felt punished for growing outward instead of upward? Share your story on social media and tag me—I'd love to hear how you're growing.